The Ultimate Epic Failure

We are finally there folks, it's time to present Trophies2go's
most remembered ex employee. Ahem, drum roll please. And the winner is, Butch Chastity!

Now suprisingly, good ol' Motor Mouth didn't actually get fired. Truth be told, he was a good worker. The only problem was, he annoyed the living snaught out of all the staff memebers. Although, somehow after he quit due to his search to become an electrician apprentice, I slowly began to see myself missing him and the sheer entertainment he had supplied me with during that memorable summer last year.

Yep, those were the good ol' days. The days when I woke up bright and early at 4 am every morning smiling as i couldn't hardly wait to arrive at work to pull one of my infamous pranks on the gullible annoyance. In fact, there is still talk today of some of the pranks I had managed to pull over on our good buddy Butch. One of my personal favorites being the time I used the power drill to create the smallest and hardly noticable hole in the front of his daily energy drink he consumed on a daily basis along with his O.F.D. (Old Fashioned Doughnut for the slow-minded)


Anyway, as the oblivious chatterbox went for a sip, everyone bursts into laughter as his liquid energy spews all over his shirt for the better part of three seconds. Utterly and completely unaware of what had just taken place, he then continues for another extended swig as the streaming flow results in the absolute drenching of his shirt. By this time all are hysterical as he goes on to drink when he finally notices what had just happened and remarks, "Whoops! There must be a hole in my lip haha. I just drooled all over my shirt!"

You could nearly pin point the exact second where it finally occured to him what just happened by his facial expression as if his brain activity had been projected for all to monitor its progress. His abssent-minded smile suddenly evolved into a look of terror and shock when he began to throw curses at me as if he had been a veteraned sailor. Now normally being yelled at in such a way would bring me to tears. However, everyone within a thrity foot radius (myself included) was already in tears due to the unbearable pain growing in our stomachs caused by an intense amount of laughter. And in no way was a I anywhere near stopping.

By this time, Butch had already gone to tattle tail to the manager like the six year old baby boy he was which resulted in, well nothing. Simply due to the fact that I had only done what every other single person in the establishment had been longing to do for weeks. I was mearly the brave soul who had opted to follow through on the act.
The feeling of sheer accomplishment suddenly became a necessary high for me. I needed more. This is when I started to plot my next attack. This is when I evidently obtained the nickname as "The Shop Terrorist"

My next prank took a little more strategic planning and resulted in pure genious. I had sent out a fellow employee to pick me up a box of fresh cheez-its on his daily QFC run. It was when he returned when I had ever so carefully switched out Motor Mouth's previously purchased box with the new one. The only difference between the two was nothing more than the bottom of the second had been removed to make possible for one "cheesy" avalanche when grabbed from the overhead shelf. Absolute classic! However, once again Motor Mouth didn't seem to agree.

Despite all his efforts, for some reason far beyond my own understanding, this guy just couldn't seem to get me back. It seemed as though the only prank he could ever come up with involved double-sided tape, a water bottle and my cell phone which inevitably became completely predictable. I almost felt sorry for the poor shop worker whom i couldn't help but to pick on. But then again, he was incredibly annoying and riding everyone's last nerve down to its breaking point.

You see, he wasn't your typical guy. Although, somehow he seemed to be completely oblivious to his not so normal set backs. We called him Butch Chastity for a good solid three months making fun of his luck with the ladies without him even catching on. Not only does this guy have zero luck when it comes to scoring with the babes, but this guy doesn't shut up about his love life. The farthest he has ever gone with a girl would be his sister. (Which he is disgustingly obsessed with)
*Pictured Below: Butch and his beloved sisters on Halloween*

I needn't go further. With that being said, he was asking for a hard time. And a few casual pranks here and there never hurt anyone. Especially this guy. I don't think he would know an insult if it hit him square in the schause. His self defense mechanism is simply to laugh as loud as you can when you have no idea what is going on. Which is again, not suprisingly unaffective.

Nobody can stand this guy, only they can't help but love him at the same time. You know what I'm talking about? If not, try and imagine working with that one guy who always unknowingly manages to provide you with a life time supply of "that's what she said" jokes. Yeah, that's him. No idea what's going on at any time of the day whatsoever.

However, I don't mean to sell this guy short, (TWSS) because you definately don't wanna get on his bad side. Which I, self admitingly did. I would say that an estimated 500 attepts to throw a beansack at me took place daily. Fortunately enough for me, he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn six feet away, but only due to the fact that he "threw his shoulder out playing baseball" Although it's kinda funny how that same injured shoulder managed to switch sides every now and then.

Looking back now you might say I should have gone a tad easier on the kid. Let me respond with a question for you to think about. If you had to work side by side with a guy that constantly ran his mouth and reffered to you and everyone else in the shop with a stupid abbreviated nickname such as "J-Bud", "Ry-Dawg", and "D", don't you think you might have snapped too? Yeah, that's what I thought....





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Epic Failure #4

Next up on the ladder as we climb to the top worst employee here at Trophies2go is a girl we'll just call Beth for now. Beth is a special girl. So special that it was only a matter of seconds after she first set foot in the shop when she actually broke one of our power tools. How she got hired is beyond me, but it wasn't too long before it became evident that the decision was a bad one.

Now Beth loved to talk. To anyone, anywhere, anytime all the time. No matter how hard you attempt to tune her out, her amusing remarks somehow always seem to grab your attention and cause you to listen in shock of the comments and questions spewing out of her mouth. For example, she once casually asked our engraver if he was married. When he replied "Yes." she went on to ask him if he was divorced. After he stated the obvious she continued to ask if he had almost been divorced and asked if he'd describe to her the worst fight he had ever had with his wife. As you can see this girl was completely oblivious to the unspoken guidelines of appropriate conversation starters.

It is my understanding that one day after ordering her lunch for carryout she left and returned an hour and a half later. Usually, a simple task such as this one wouldn't take a person more than ten minutes. However, Beth's excuse was that she was gone so long because she had forgotten where she had ordered her lunch from! And let's face it, nobody wants this girl behind the wheel roaming the streets in search of carryout. She claims she failed drivers ed three times! Apparently, her instructor got so sick of teaching her that he just gave up. What a selfish thing to do! What about the rest of us?!?!

I can honestly say that a small part of me misses the entertainment the girl supplied us with on a daily basis. However, when I think of what she is doing now, I can't help but crack a smile and imagine the heartache she has brought upon her current employer. If you're out there, whoever you are, you have my undying sympathy. God bless.



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Epic Failure #3

"A Bomber" is next in line on the list counting down to the worst ex employee here at Trophies2Go. Now this guy was probably the easiest guy out of everybody to fire. He basically asked for it and had it coming since day one. Let me first say that A Bomber worked up more of a sweat during his twenty minute on the clock bathroom breaks than he did actually working. We literally had a sign made just to cut down his bathroom time. Did it help? Well, no but that wasn’t the only reason why this guy wasn’t employee of the month if you know what I mean. In fact, he had many shortcomings. One of which would be his “call in sick etiquette”. I mean who leaves a long message explaining why you are taking the day off followed by an “Alright, I love you”? Let’s get real, just because your girlfriend is having a hard time at her job does not mean it’s okay to call in sick at yours to comfort her. But I guess she returned the favor by calling in sick for him the day we told him not to bother coming back. One more thing A Bomber really lacked was a belt! Every time he reached for anything lower than waste level we would get a nice visual of his hairy back side! There was just no way to actually get him to be productive. You don’t need a chair to assemble trophies, but this guy couldn’t seem to step out of one. In our attempt to solve this problem, we tried to hide all of the chairs every morning. However, despite our efforts, he seemed to locate his chair every day and continue his lazy routine. Speaking of lazy, A Bomber refused to come in to get his things and last paycheck after his embarrassment of being canned. He just couldn’t take the walk of shame after that. So, he had his mother come in here to do the task for him. We never saw him or his poor mother again, yet his legacy still lives on.



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Epic Failure #2

Next up on the list we have good ol' JT. If robotics club was a sport, this guy would be a true athlete. Unfortunately, it's not. And JT doesn't have an athletic bone in his body. When he didn't have robotics he would grace us with his presence about two hours a week here at work. These two hours would consist of the following. Clock in. Take a snack break. Throw something at me while attempting to get my attention with his "cool weekend plans with a girl". Get yelled at by me and/or somebody else. Build a trophy or two. Get yelled at for building it wrong. Taking the previously built trophy apart. Take out the trash. Then finally, forget to clock out. Oh, and not to mention all of the texting in between.

Recycling is one of his many strong points. He once recycled a pile of expensive rosewood plaques just because they were stacked nicely by the trash can. But hey, at least he didn't just throw them in the dumpster right? He neatly separated the boxes from the plaques to recycle the boxes and throw away the wood. Way to save the environment!

Were not exactly sure what happened to JT when he came to work for us. His self proclaimed legend states he used to be the “Top Dog” at his last job. At the hardware store where he previously worked he managed to put in 78 hours a week at the ripe age of 15. He also was an expert when it came to using ladders, the same ones we have at our shop when John ended up laying flat on his back after falling from the third step. JT’s numerous talents aren’t just restricted to work, he is also excelling in his public speaking class where he claims he is a “master debater”! Case and point. Epic Failure....



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Epic Failure...

As we all know every workplace has “that guy”. You know, the guy that drives everyone else crazy, the guy that laughs way too loud, or even the guy who has horrible breath and always feels the need to get up right in your face. Well fortunately, here at Trophies2Go we have had the pleasure of employing about 5 of “those guys” For the next few days I will reflect on the TOP FIVE past employees as I describe each individual and their "set backs" which resulted in their firing.

The employee first up on the list we will just call “Josh” to keep his identity a secret. This one of a kind employee hired specifically for customer service nailed the interview with his impressive resume and college degree. Although, we soon found out that his work ethic wasn’t quite what we were hoping for.

Josh was a great sales rep. That is if you don’t mind hearing the sound of Cheeze-its being chewed obnoxiously while attempting to place your order over the phone. And let’s not forget the time he left a customer waiting out front while he practiced push-ups in his office. And everyone should know it’s disrespectful to tell your boss to “Hold on a sec” while you finish a text message to tell the guy you just Myspaced to check his inbox. I can’t explain to you what an inconvenience it is to try and explain to a customer that we are unable to custom engrave their personal gold watch after one of our employees has assured them that we were able to do so within three business days. We are reminded of Josh often as we receive many complaints from hundreds of angry customers sharing their "thoughts" and "experiences" involving the ex employee.


To this day Josh is mentioned almost daily not only due to the mark he left in our memories, but also because of the cracker crumbs still residing in the phone receiver. Josh's leftovers are sadly still here with us today and for many years to come I'm sure.




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Top Five Announcement!

From here on out, every month I will be doing a series on the Trophies2Go Top Five. Just a heads up, this month I'm featuring the Top Five worst employees. August will be "Weirdest Trophies Ever Made" and I haven't made up my mind yet for September, but I'm open for suggestions so throw them my way!



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What I Do!

I'm so sick of the same question being asked over and over. "Where do you work?" And reguardless of who is asking, the conversation always turns out the same every time! For some reason, everybody seems to think that Trophies2go.com is just some stupid website that attempts to sell cheap plastic sport trophies. But what people don't realize, is that there is so much more to be said about what we do. Sure, we sell any kind of sports award you can think of, but that doesn't mean they're cheap and ugly. You'd be suprised if you looked at the site to find not only trophies, but plaques, acrylic and crystal awards too! Really cool stuff huh? I try to explain to people that we aren't just a small business, but we have many other sites that branch off from Trophies2go as well! Let's see, there's cheapfootballtrophies.com, as well as baseball, soccer, golf, hockey, and basketball. Even a site dedicated to fit you poker trophy needs. Oh, and I can't forget IssaquahTrophy.com. That's the name of the store where we are located in Washington. After clearing all this up hopefully more people will know what I'm talking about when telling them where I work. Hope this helps!

*Also, if you'll notice in the above picture, I just got my hair done yesterday. (Compliments of Aurora of Gene Juarez Academy)



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